Finding Bigfoot

I used to think that Animal Planet put some relatively decent programming on its schedule; I’d catch myself watching it every now and then to see what new kind of mutant lizard-like thing the Miami-Dade Animal Control people were catching in the swamps. Mindless, yet entertaining.

It’s now shifted from mindless to just plain ridiculous. Case in point: Finding Bigfoot.

D3C_7441-640_resizeYes, that’s right, the Bigfoot Research Organization (or BFRO) is out there actively searching for a “squatch”. The team is complete with a field biologist and an expert “caller”. The leader of this little band of nutballs says he’s been on this quest for 20+ years. I frankly find it hard to watch more than five minutes of this trainwreck without looking at my wife and saying “Seriously?!?”

Except for one thing – the boy. He’s absolutely mesmerized by it. We have to DVR it, and he’ll watch it over and over again. And now he’s looking for “a squatch” in the woods of Pug Hollow.

This evening, armed in full Bigfoot-hunting garb, a boy and his mother ventured into the woods in search of the resident Sasquatch. Before setting out on this quest, I captured some video of their pre-planning meeting – it’s available on my Facebook page, and should be available soon on Cathy’s. Worth your two minutes to watch it.

There’s apparently a dress code for Bigfoot hunting – as we can see here:

  • Boots
  • Long pants and shirt
  • Backpack (complete with rations)
  • Hat
  • Binoculars
  • Night Vision Goggles

The goggles deserve a shot of their own (we thank Joni and Greta for these):

And so they head into the woods, with the boy making sure he issues a few calls into the wilderness. Because, you know, being able to issue an appropriate Bigfoot call is an essential skill for this kind of work.

When the Associate BFRO field staff (and I’m using the term associate very loosely here) returned, they had evidence of Bigfoot’s presence: they found a popped balloon tied to a ribbon (“because Bigfoot eats the balloons”) and remnants of a rotten pumpkin that also looked like it had been eaten.

And apparently the boy is pretty good at rationing food from his backpack – he was only willing to give his mother one Cheese-It while they were in the field.

I think the evidence speaks for itself. The boy’s as loony as the people on the show. But I do have a new angle for getting him indoors in the evening – because you never know when Bigfoot might be coming for a certain little boy.

LATE ADDENDUM:

The local BFRO field team went back out for one last “night hunt” this evening. Just before they went into the woods, the junior member of the team requested that they hold hands. I’m sure this was for safety reasons, as maintaining unity is of paramount importance in such endeavors.

Oh, and he did use his Night Vision goggles, as evidenced by Mom’s cell phone camera:

IMG00446

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